~Squirrel-23

can be gained through reading.

Especially when reading between the lines.


Looking For Alaska:

Later, I walked toward the dorm circle beside Alaska. The cicadas hummed their one-note song, just as they had at home in Florida. She turned to me as we made our way through the darkness and said, "When you're walking at night, do you ever get creeped out and even though it's silly and embarrassing you just want to run home?"
It seemed too secret and personal to admit to a virtual stranger, but I told her, "Yeah, totally."
For a moment, she was quiet. Then she grabbed my hand, whispered, "Run run run run run," and took off, pulling me behind her.

--------

The final exam: What is the most important question human beings must answer? Choose your question wisely, and then examine how Islam, Buddhism, and Christianity attempt to answer it.

--

My answer to the question was straightforward enough, really. Most Christians and Muslims believe in a heaven and a hell, though there's a lot of disagreement within both religions over what, exactly, will get you into one afterlife or the other. Buddhists are more complicated--because of the Buddha's doctrine of anatta, which basically says that people don't have eternal souls. Instead, they have a bundle of energy, and that bundle of energy is transitory, migrating from one body to another, reincarnating endlessly until it eventually reaches enlightenment.
I never liked writing concluding paragraphs to papers--where you jsut repeat what you've already said with phrases like In summation, and To conclude. I didn't do that--instead I talked about why I thought it was an important question. People, I thought, wanted security. They couldn't bear the idea of death being a big black nothing, couldn't bear the thought of their loved ones not existing, and couldn't even imagine themselves not existing. I finally decided that people believed in an afterlife because they couldn't bear not to.

I'll be uploading a lot more writing, soon, hopefully.
Depends on when I feel like typing it up.

Nothing else to say really.

In the mood thing.. Go to sadness.. Than anguish.. Everything except desperate in that category describes how I feel.. Along with regretful..

I let her go..
And Then I realized I need her..
Which is when she let me go.. Forever..
Its all for the best though.. I would only end up hurting her again, and I couldn't live with myself if I did again..

I haven't been able to sleep much at all the past two, two and a half weeks..
Fuck, it hurts just to breathe..

My mom finally quit her old, stressful job completely.. She works for UPS now.. Much less stressful, better hours, and better pay..
Might prolong her life a bit..
Who knows..
We'll see..

At the moment, I'm wondering how many people even read this. How many people even really care..
Who'd care if I shut down my deviantart for good?

Have you ever had a dream where you fell?
Don't you always seem to wake up, just before hitting the ground?

Last night I had a dream.
I was on a building's ledge. A ledge I've seen many times before. A ledge I've dreamt about, day dreamed about, and just simply wished for.
Many times.
I jumped from this ledge. And I fell. I fell for a while.
I always wake up just before I hit the ground.
Last night, just before I hit the ground, the whole thing changed.
There was just a blackness. And I hit the bottomlessness [meaning: I hit where the ground should have been, but no longer was.]
As I hit, I started seeing it from third-person.
I hit, and I stayed still for a moment.
Then I shattered.
Like a piece of glass.
Thousands of tiny pieces.
And in an unconscious dream, I consciously realized something..
I'm breaking to pieces..

How do you survive when you need help in a helpless world?
What do you do when you feel like there's two of one, and you feel that you're the copy?

I'm having more freezing hot days..
It's getting unbearable..




L E A V E--A--C O M M E N T--A N D--I--W I L L..."

a) tell you why I befriended you,
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite pic of yours,
g) in return, you must post this in your journal.

Nothing to say really..
Just found a survey and thought I'd post it.
Take care.


1. How old will you be in five years? 21.
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Family. I haven't gone anywhere today.
3. How tall are you? 6'0
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? I don't know.
5. What's the last movie you saw? Saw some of Hot Fuzz. About to watch American Psycho.
6. Who was the last person you called? I don't know.
7. Who was the last person to call you? Kara.
8. What was the last text message you received? No cell phone.
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? No one does.
10. Do you prefer to call or text? Since I can't text, due to the lack of a cell phone, I'll have to go with call.
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Talking to Chelsea, I'm pretty sure.
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Divorced.
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? Maybe half an hour ago.
14. What colour are your eyes? Some times blue, some times green.
16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans, shirt, and jacket.
17. What is your favourite Christmas song? Alone This Holiday by The Used. It's not a traditional Christmas song, but it does have sleigh bell.
18. Where is your favourite place to be? Depends.
19. Where is your least favourite place to be? See above.
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Obviously, anywhere.
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? I don't know.
22. Do you tan or burn? Burn, then tan, then pale again.
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I don't remember.
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? My twin being an idiot last night.
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? Five. One's broken, one's my brother's, one's an HD, one's my mom's, and the last one's used for PS2 and vcr.
26. How big is your bed? Twin, I think.
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Desktop.
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Just jeans is all.
29. What colour are your sheets? Sheets are black. Comforter is red.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.
31. What is your favourite season? Autumn.
32. What do you like about fall? Peaceful beauty. It's my favourite season.
33. What do you like about winter? Harsher beauty.
34. What do you like about the summer? Lack of school for now.
35. What do you like about spring? Nothing in particular, really.
36. How many states have you lived in? One.
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Acworth. I don't know where we lived before.
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Socks or shoes.
39. Are you a social person? Depends.
40. What was the last thing you ate? Wendy's for dinner last night.
41. What is your favourite restaurant? I don't know, honestly.
42. What is your favourite ice cream? Chocolate chip cookie dough.
43. What is your favourite dessert? Dunno.
44. What is your favourite kind of soup? None. Don't like soup.
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Don't like them.
46. Do you like Chinese food? Yes.
47. Do you like coffee? Never really had it.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? One or two, maybe.
49. What do you drink in the morning? Depends on what I would like to drink.
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? No.
52. Do you know how to play poker? Somewhat.
53. Do you like to cuddle? Yes.
54. Have you ever been to Canada? No.
55. Do you have an addictive personality? You tell me.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? How dirty. About the same, really.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My twin.
59. Do you want kids? I don't know.
60. Do you speak any other languages? Some Spanish, some German.
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? No.
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Does a med-evac helicopter count? If so, then yes.
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Either.
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Never been on a plane.
65. Do you know how to drive stick? No.
66. What is your favourite thing to spend money on? Books or clothes.
67. Do you wear any jewellery 24/7? Black bracelet, Gold necklace, and silver necklace with a wing pendant.
68. What is your favourite TV show? CSI, Burn Notice, Family Guy..
69. Can you roll your tongue? No.
70. Who is the funniest person you know? I don't know.
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No.
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? No cell phone.
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No.
74. What red object is closest to you right now? Red cds.
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Sometimes.
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed.
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Neither, honestly. I imagine both would be equally horrible.
78. Who do you like? Platonically, friends.
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ketchup.
80. What is your favorite food? Burgers. Pizza.
81. Can you change the oil on a car? If I tried and had direction, maybe.
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Don't drive yet.
83. Have you ever run out of gas? See above.
84. What is your usual bedtime? 9-10 during school year. 2 am to four am during summer.
85. What was the last book you read? Realm of Possibility by David Levithan.
86. Do you read the newspaper? No.
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No.
89. Do you watch soap operas? Ew. No.
90. Do you dance in the car? No.
91. What radio station did you last listen to? I dunno. I don't usually listen to the radio.
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? Three people that I don't know. It's the original sample picture that came with the frame.
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? Directions to The Warehouse.
94. What is your favourite candle scent? Dunno.
95. What is your favourite board game? Urban Myth and Monopoly.
97. When was the last time you attended church? A few months ago, I think.
98. Who was your favourite teacher in high school? In my two years so far, Mr. Putnam and Coach Saye. I haven't had either of them yet, actually. But they're both hilarious.
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? Never camped out in a tent.
100. Who was the last person to give you butterflies? Secrett.